Sunday, April 30, 2006

Cool people make weekends fun

So here's a shoutout to everyone who improved the quality of my weekend:

Stephen - visiting for the weekend... cushion sliding, pledge skating.

Abbie - I'm gonna miss ya

Suzanne - for tagging along with me at Abbie's house/Crimson White party/Mellow Mushroom

Ben & Tess - just for bein' cool and goin' to the Mellow

Erica - for rescuing me (trying anyway) from Chatty McWon'tshutup at the Mellow...

Matt - for kicking the crap out of my leg - it was pretty funny.

Bobby - for helping me with this super cool job i might be getting. More on that later.

You're all great.

Abbiefest '06

My dear friend Abbie is leaving soon to go to Italy (which reminds me... other countries need to stop taking all the girls... Here's my life: Abbie and Ruth to Italy, Leah to Peru then Europe, jMitch to England, Christin to England and Jessica to Peru. This is ridiculous!).

So this Friday we hung out at Abbie's and injured ourselves.

First we threw cushions on her hardwood floor to see who slide the farthest, (that's me and Stephen, thank you very much).

Then I wondered what would happen if we buttered up the floor. Made it nice and slick, you know? Kathleen reminded us of an entire bottle of Pledge (orange scented... mmmmm)

Unfortunately this made the cushions not slide at all (none of us were exactly physicists).

Michael discovers that on your bare feet it's crazy slick. So everyone gets a running start (not at the same time) and "skates" on the Pledge-covered floor.

I busted.



I'm talking bruises and pain two days later.

Lesson learned, man. Lesson learned.


David Ford
i sincerely apologize for all the trouble i've caused

Friday, April 28, 2006

Good good times

Grilling on the quad.....

(said in homer's voice)

hmmmmmm.... quuuuaaaadddd.....

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Full Circle

So how funny is it that President Bush hired a Fox News anchorman to be his official press secretary? I mean, for years the Fox network has been the unofficial soapbox for the Bush administration (pretending to criticize every once in a while doesn't count as professional journalism... Especially when you're saying Bush isn't being conservative enough!), and now the administration has picked one of Fox's employees to actually be the official spokesman.

It just reminds me of how a few weeks back reports came out about Cheney's requirements in his hotel rooms, including that the television should be on and already tuned to Fox. Clearly, these people don't like any sort of criticism, and now they've got a real live journalist/pundit to defend them.

Gas prices, new house, good times

First off, I have great news. I am not going to be homeless this summer. (So that was never really in doubt because Jeb and Jennifer even volunteered to house me if it came to that. But pretending that I narrowly escaped homelessness sounds way more dramatic.)

I'll be staying with my relatively new friend Ryan in a house halfway between Oz and the campus, which means I can save some major dough on gas prices. (Especially if I can find a bike for the summer. Anyone know of one?)

If I'm ever going to be able to go home again or visit Lauren or anything, I'm gonna have to use less gas.

Anyway, so I think Ryan and I will get along pretty well. It definitely beats being homeless, which I've kinda been there. Some of you may remember when former roomie Matt and I had no where to live. We had what we lovingly called the "Matt Giesman and Josh Mallory Traveling Road Shows." We both drove around from town to town visiting different friends (sometimes even landing in the same town at the same time.) With gas prices so high, I can't afford to live in my car traveling the Southeast landing on people's couches.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

3 hour lunches

So today I just took a day off. I overslept my first class (it's as though my body no longer cares that there is a loud alarming sound in my room at 7 in the morning. It has stopped responding.)

After sleeping in, I wrote my response due today and laid around for about an hour doing nothing.

Then I went to lunch with Ben and Suzanne... for over 3 hours.

It was pretty freaking awesome to just hang out for a while. During the daylight hours at that... I forgot what the sun was like.

So I decided, we should all just hang out all the time... I mean, sure the economy would die and we'd probably get taken over by the commies or terrorists or whomever we're fearing these days (Republicans? oooh, burn). And the lunches would probably run out if no one is ever work and growing food.

But we'd all be so much happier... for at least 3 hours anyway.


Josh Rouse


Monday, April 24, 2006

Lost and Shakespeare

So I was reading up on the Tempest for class (obviously my Shakespeare class), and I began to notice some similarities to my favorite TV show in the post-Arrested Development world. (I must say any life without Arrested Development is not worth living.)

People on a ship are drawn to a strange island by a freak storm. There they encounter many strange things, and someone gets abducted (Ferdinan).

Sounds a lot like Lost where some people in a plane crash on a strange island, and someone (Claire, then Walt) gets abducted.

Could the whole thing be a big allusion?

Sunday, April 23, 2006

New Laws for Life

Due to the events of the past couple weeks, I, Josh Mallory, have decided the following rules should be international law. (Does anyone know who I need to see about this? Who's in charge of adding things to the Geneva Convention?)

1) Drunk sorority girls can and should be shot on sight.

2) Don't ask someone to justify their actions, then chastise them for being defensive.

3) If you can't speed, don't drive.

4) If you can't not hit me, don't drive.

5) Everyone should sit with strangers at a Patty Griffin concert. (Though this may work out better for some.)

6) Everyone must befriend Jessica Roberts. The reasons will make themselves clear.

7) People who don't like Woody Allen should never be allowed to watch movies again.

8) Don't bring frostees to other people's girlfriends at work. You look like a tool.

9) Never take more than two English classes at a time.

10) Nebraska should no longer be a state... you know what you did, you Cornhuskers...

11) ________________________________ (Write your own, but if I hate it, I'll veto it. I am running this thing after all.)

Stupid Tuscaloosa

Let me just say, if you're looking for Woody Allen's Manhattan in Tuscaloosa, give up! It's not possible.

I went to 3 different rental places and two stores looking for this movie and came up empty.

I went to Oz first to see if we had it used (we didn't), then target to see if they had it at all (nope), then Blockbuster (didn't have room for Manhattan because they needed that space for that Lindsay Lohan Herbie movie) then two, count 'em two, Movie Galleries. (One of which is almost nothing but porn now.)

Finally, gave up and asked my friend Ben. He let me borrow it because he's cool, unlike Blockbuster (oh, i'm bitter).

Anyway, definitely give this movie a shot. I still think Annie Hall is my favorite movie, but this one is amazing. Allen's got his usual keen wit and humor here. Plus the black and white photography of New York is stunning. The cast is pretty amazing: Allen, Diane Keaton, Meryl Streep, Mariel Hemingway. Anyway, I loved this movie and so did my friend Gina. I think this may have been her first Allen flick, but she really enjoyed it. So two thumbs up.


Elvis Costello

Almost Blue

Best. Thursday. Ever.

So this past Thursday, I finally got to see Patty Griffin live for a full concert (not like the half hour I got at the Grand Ole Opry!). After years of trying in vain to see my favorite artist in the world, I succeeded, and only one week after I saw Todd Snider. What a freaking 8 days! It was a long journey though...

Originally I had no one to go with me. However, facebook solved that problem as my new friend Suzanne messaged me asking me if I was going. (This was before she was my new friend Suzanne and just random girl on facebook named Suzanne... girl named Suzanne, not facebook named Suzanne. Wow. That was unnecessary.)

So I drove down to Starkeville (not Starkesville as Patty learned) Thursday night on that most celebrated of all holidays, 4/20. (I got quite a bit of raggin' for requesting it off.) Starkeville, as I learned, doesn't have too much going on. Anyway, we find our way over to Rick's Cafe for the show. That's when we hit a snag: Suzanne had the good 15 dollar floor seat, and I had a crappy find yourself a table around the outskirts of the bar seat. So I looked over at all the groups sitting around at the tables and picked my mark.

A table had three guys (two looked my age. one younger) and a girl. They were talking, but not too much. So I explained the situation and asked to sit with them. They agreed.

Now for the crazy part: The one guy who looked younger, Trey, was only 15 and knew someone I knew from Dothan. So here's a fun sentence that is now true: I went to a bar in Starkeville and met a 15 year old guy who knows people I know from Dothan, though he's never been.

Meanwhile, Suzanne may be second row center, but she's sitting with a guy she accurately describes as "creepy."

Anyway, so Micah, Dave, Casey and Trey ended up being super cool people, and Patty put on an amazing show. She did a lot of new stuff that will be on her next record, and I don't know how long that will be. I may not make it.

Thursday, April 13, 2006


So at this point, my article cannot live up to the hype I've given it, as I've been talking about this for about a month now.

Nonetheless, here is the Todd Snider article. It got cut a little short and my favorite quote got taken out (I suppose because of language), but I hope it turned out ok. I hate everything I write, so I cannot judge it.

I'm still hoping to land that interview with Patty Griffin, but her management isn't quite as on the ball as Todd's was. Oh well, what are you gonna do?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Only one day!

Tomorrow is Todd Snider's concert, and I'm completely stoked. I absolutely cannot wait! This is the best thing that's happened all week.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


Elliott Smith
Figure 8

I'm not being a snob, I just don't understand

"How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?"

Amazing question. Bob Dylan may not have sung perfectly but he wrote with such passion and purpose. His music actually meant something, and it really seem to come from somewhere deep in his heart and mind. Not just the "serious" songs, even the songs about love ("Lay Lady Lay" and "Girl from the North Country") are beautifully written, and songs like "With God On Our Side" and "Masters of War" asked incredibly important questions in unique and poetic ways.

"How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man" was Dylan's question. What's ours? "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

How did we fall that far???

Are these people dead inside? (It's parenthesis day!)

So I waste my share of money (whoever thought of putting TV shows on DVD and charging 50 bucks was a genius... an evil genius), but I find this story ridiculous.

At the Kentucky Derby, they will be serving $1,000 mint juleps. One. Thousand. Bucks. For a drink. One. drink.

Exactly how wasteful and indulgent can we be as a society when a frivolous (and super effeminate) drink is one thousand dollars?

If I had one thousand dollars to (almost literally) throw away on a (crappy) drink, I don't think I could drink without seeing the sad faces of starving children in Africa. I mean, that's a thousand dollars that could be used to feed people or help fund research or pay part of someone's (say... mine) college tuition. How are these people going to drink this without tasting the guilt and selfishness?

I have a theory, thanks for asking:

Clearly, if they are into horse racing and have a thousand dollars to piss away, they are pretty removed from the problems of the world. Therefore, they have no idea that if 5 people buy these, that's 5,000 that could feed a lot of people. They must be very insulated and sheltered from the real world.

(Are you ready for the twist: here it comes...)

That could just as easily describe me. I'm thinking about all the concerts I've been to lately and all the times I could have drank water instead of getting a drink. Also, do I need 50 dollar jeans? Probably not.

So the question is this: where is that line between acceptable wastefulness (the occasional CD or movie/concert? maybe?) and extreme cold-hearted indulgence. The other question is who gets to decide? Me? You? Or people dying of diseases that could be preventable?

Your thoughts are welcome.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Your Wildest Dreams Come True

Click this link: here to see Josh Mallory naked (don't worry. It's censored.) And be sure to play the song by Of Montreal. They kick butt.

* * *
Is this bad? I went through myspace and facebook searching for Josh Mallory. I asked the guys who looked kinda cool to be my friends, but the ones who looked creepy or weird, I just ignored. (Yes, the naked me is my friend.)
In a weird way, myspace has robbed me of my identity. I am Josh Mallory. Until myspace came along I'd never heard of another. Now there's some other dude with my name (and my hair cut) out there.
I'm actually ok with it totally stealing my identity because it may come in handy later. Unpaid taxes? "Oh, you have the wrong Josh Mallory. Happens all the time. I'll let you know where he is." commit a felony and drop something with your name on it? Doesn't matter. There's another one... Someone stalking you? Pass 'em off to that other you. The possibilities are endless.



Gimme Fiction

Old Times

I was thinking today about years and years ago when I lived on the strip. I was roommates with Matt, and Brooke and Collette lived upstairs in apt. 8. It seems like so long ago, it's hard to believe it was just 5 years ago. I really miss those times.

I mean, clearly, I wouldn't have wanted to stay there forever. I've done a lot since then that's been really fun and met some of my best friends since then. (Plus, I can't imagine life before Lost and Arrested Development)

I just want some way to go back and visit every once in a while. Just step back into the past and be 19 again. Having Brooke and Collette fiercely protecting me, while Matt annoys the crap out of me on purpose.

So I propose someone invent this. Either something where you can hook it up to your brain a la Matrix and it's just like you're there, or someone needs to finally figure out this time travel thing. Or maybe if we could just track down those ghosts from A Christmas Carol. That way we could go back and visit without interfering with anything. (Plus, might be freaked out if showed up. I know the last time dropped in, I couldn't sleep for days.)

Isn't it odd how so many things reference the desire to go and forward in time. I guess humanity is frustrated that time is a line and there's nothing we can do about it. No matter how much I want to relive things and bring back the people who were closest to me at the time, I can't.

This is turning about to be much more depressing than I meant. I'm glad I got to live there for a couple years, even if it wasn't quite long enough. After all, it's better to have loved and lost and all that jazz...

Sunday, April 09, 2006

A Boy Named Sue

(I couldn't resist this. Sorry, but I think it's kinda funny... It's a lazy Sunday)

Put your music player on shuffle.Press forward for each question.Use the song title as the answer to the question.No Cheating.

How am I feeling today?: Throw it all away

Will I get far in life?: Lip Service

Where will I get Married?: Out in the Cold

What is the story of my life?: Good Year for the Roses

How can I get ahead in life?: Wish

What is in store for this weekend?: Lazy Gun

What song describes my parents?: Dig Your Grave (that's horrible!)

To describe my grandparents?: Art Decade

What do my friends really think of me?: Mystery Dance

Do people secretly lust after me?: Drive Away (that's bad too!)

Will I ever have children?: Pancho and Lefty

What is some good advice for me?: We Never Change

What is my signature dancing song?: Poor Man's House

What type of men/women do you like?: Happy Endings

Now next song will be the topic name you post for the post.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Hello, My name is hypocrit Josh

I know some of you didn't have enough reading material this past week at work, but it was a pretty busy one for me. First, I had to work nearly 30 hours, and of course, I had class. I also had a Spanish test on Thursday. Now for the embarrasing part:

I, hater of reality shows, applied for... wait for it... yes... a reality show. The chances are slim to none that I'll make it, but it sounds super-cool. Rolling Stone and MTV are looking for five college journalists to work for Rolling Stone this summer, and from those five, one will get a job with Rolling Stone. Now, I don't necessarily want to be a reality show guy, but I guess I'm not opposed to it either.

I'm afraid of what I might see if I really have to watch footage of myself. Either I'll be someone I don't realize I am, or I, worse, what happens if I'm boring?

Anyway, that application took some time away from the blogging. This week I only work two days (!) so those of you at work (who are still sober enough to read... you know who i'm talking about) I'll hopefully provide you dozens of minutes of distraction.... DOZENS!

iPod fun

New month, update top 10:

1) "Chief" Patty Griffin

2) "Return of the Grievous Angel" Gram Parsons

3) "From the Morning" Nick Drake

4) "Long Ride Home" Patty Griffin

5) "It's the Nighttime" Josh Rouse

6) "Useless Desires" Patty Griffin

7) "Pink Moon" Nick Drake

8) "Me and Willie" Emmylou Harris

9) "Conversation" Joni Mitchell

10) "You Don't Make it Easy Babe" Josh Ritter

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


Arcade Fire

Finished the Interview with Todd...

So I just finished the interview with Todd Snider. It's kinda crazy, because after all that worrying about what to ask and what not to ask, I just followed Ben's advice and had a conversation with him.

He told me about his new album, Devil You Know, due out this August. We talked about Dylan, hamburgers, Patty Griffin, Tuscaloosa, radio, Hootie and the Blow Fish, Gram Parsons, whether or not he's old and Will Kimbrough (as Todd refers to him, "the brain behind all my bullshit"). He was really easy to talk to, very relaxed. The more he got comfortable, the more he started swearing. I'm going to have to do quite a bit of editing for the paper. I'm not quite sure which words we're allowed to use.

He also told me to look for his stage hand, so I can say hello to him at the show. This is the coolest feeling in the world. Not only am I on the list, but I get to meet Todd. Very few understand how exciting this is.

I mean, if I were telling people I get to meet Bono, everyone would be excited. But I'd rather meet Todd than Bono, so for me, this is a much bigger deal. He also gave me an artist to check out: Willis Alan Ramsey. I'll let you know how that goes.

Fun facts:

Todd likes to listen to rap, though he promises he will be dropping no beats.

His first job was working in construction.

We have both been listening to Dylan's "Nashville Skyline" a lot lately.

Monday, April 03, 2006


So I don't have too much time (the story of my life these days). Two quick notes:

Tommorrow, I interview Todd Snider, and I'm still nervous. I met the Ben (the ent. editor at the CW) and he went over some basics with me. I'm feeling a little better, but not quite all the way there.

Also, today I got Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks as well as the dvd's Snatch and Good Night, and Good Luck. All in perfect condition, all used. The movies were each 10 bucks and the Dylan was 5. Not bad, huh?

I love Good Night, and can't wait to watch it. I've never actually seen Snatch, so don't ruin it for me!