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Sunday, April 23, 2006

New Laws for Life

Due to the events of the past couple weeks, I, Josh Mallory, have decided the following rules should be international law. (Does anyone know who I need to see about this? Who's in charge of adding things to the Geneva Convention?)

1) Drunk sorority girls can and should be shot on sight.

2) Don't ask someone to justify their actions, then chastise them for being defensive.

3) If you can't speed, don't drive.

4) If you can't not hit me, don't drive.

5) Everyone should sit with strangers at a Patty Griffin concert. (Though this may work out better for some.)

6) Everyone must befriend Jessica Roberts. The reasons will make themselves clear.

7) People who don't like Woody Allen should never be allowed to watch movies again.

8) Don't bring frostees to other people's girlfriends at work. You look like a tool.

9) Never take more than two English classes at a time.

10) Nebraska should no longer be a state... you know what you did, you Cornhuskers...

11) ________________________________ (Write your own, but if I hate it, I'll veto it. I am running this thing after all.)

4 comments:

Blogger annie are you okay said...

i saw a girl tonight with a nebraska football shirt on....I CUSSED HER!

9:18 PM  
Blogger annie are you okay said...

Justification:

1 : the act, process, or state of being justified by God
2 a : the act or an instance of justifying : VINDICATION b : something that justifies
3 : the process or result of justifying lines of text

Defensive

1 : serving to defend or protect
2 a : devoted to resisting or preventing aggression or attack b : of or relating to the attempt to keep an opponent from scoring in a game or contest
3 a : valuable in defensive play (a defensive card in bridge) b : designed to keep an opponent from being the highest bidder (a defensive bid)


(are they the same....you decide?)

4:00 PM  
Blogger jMoney said...

smart @$$: annaliese

7:49 PM  
Blogger Nerd said...

i would like to personally thank you for the laughs you've conjured as i go to face my doom, aka, math exam. :P happy thursday, superiorityman!

9:47 AM  

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