My Life As Train II

Ok, if you haven't read my first blog about my life as a train, you might want to do that now.

I got to thinking more about as yet another train rumbles by house, drowning out the TV and shaking the windows.

Last time I mentioned how trains can't go back (like a car) and that this terrified me. While this is true, I have discovered the future scares me just as much. The Past and Future are equal villains in this story.

But on to the Future. Trains can only go where the tracks go, as I previously mentioned. We're all headed to that great Station in the Sky, and our trains don't stop moving. There is no pausing, no waiting, no taking detours. Minute after minute. Mile after mile. We're all speeding for the same place.

While that whole death thing is scary, what is even scarier, is that we're all going somewhere. To be 24 years old and feel completely directionless and aimless is one thing. To be 24 and realize I'm going somewhere even if I don't feel like it is another matter all together. I don't feel as though I'm in control. I'm a freaking undergrad! Yet, my life path is taking shape, and there's nothing I can do about it. We're all committed to one life, one train, one trip.

We can't try different roads or routes, we only get to try one.

I will never be a detective. I don't particularly want to be, however, that option is not available. Isn't that sad?

So my new goal in life is to try and commit to my life. I've only got one shot, and while I can't relay the tracks I've already traveled or slow the train down from heading to... you know where... I can do my best to make my trip enjoyable and successful.

Even if this does scare the crap out of me.