Rap Album Covers + My New Job
I've noticed something whilst working a record store. Rap music (read: Gansta rap music) has no creativity left. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada, and however else you want to say NOTHING.
So, I'm officially against stereotyping. I mean, I don't assume all middle easterners are terrorists, that all women are illogical, or that Sandra Bullock movies suck. (OK, I do assume the last one.)
However, gansta rap CD's are all the freaking same. (I do note that not all rap music is gansta rap. I submit that Common, Kanye West, Outkast, the Roots, and older acts like Grandmaster Flash, Fab Five Freddie, Run DMC or even Public Enemy are/were creative and important. 50 Cent, Lil' anybody, and Foxxy Brown however can all take their mysogenistic lyrics and shove them.) To make the album cover, follow these simple steps:
1) Gothic lettering. Make sure it's old English lettering and difficult to read. I suppose they think this adds a air of legitimacy, however, I doubt anyone is going to confuse Lil' Wayne with Shakespeare. (Unless that person is stupid. Or crazy. Gotta love the crazy!)
2) Precious metals and stones. The tackier the better! Be sure to flash that bling (don't you love the slightly outdated slang?) But seriously, nearly every rap CD has gold chains and/or diamond teeth and/or diamond jewerly and/or crowns or some other piece of crap. (Note: should you forget to add tacky jewelry, make up for it with violent images: guns, knives, guns that shoot knives)
3) Man scowling/woman whoring. Be sure, if you are a man, to look pissed. Because you're serious and angry! This will give you the gravitas to pull off a masterpiece like "Candy Shop" or "Shake it Like a Salt Shaker" However, if you are a woman, in the world of gansta rap, you are good for one thing: sex. Be sure to sell that. Look at Lil' Kim, Foxy Brown, and Trina. They all know what they're doing. After all, 50 is not interested in your mind! (unless the "candy shop" is referring to intellectual stimulation... with Candy being critical analysis of Shelley or Keaths... I'm pretty sure it's not.) And for God's sakes, please remember to shake that laffy taffy. What else can you do?
So there you go. 3 simple steps to designing your gansta rap cover: gothic lettering, tacky jewerly, and scowling and/or whoring.
So, I'm officially against stereotyping. I mean, I don't assume all middle easterners are terrorists, that all women are illogical, or that Sandra Bullock movies suck. (OK, I do assume the last one.)
However, gansta rap CD's are all the freaking same. (I do note that not all rap music is gansta rap. I submit that Common, Kanye West, Outkast, the Roots, and older acts like Grandmaster Flash, Fab Five Freddie, Run DMC or even Public Enemy are/were creative and important. 50 Cent, Lil' anybody, and Foxxy Brown however can all take their mysogenistic lyrics and shove them.) To make the album cover, follow these simple steps:
1) Gothic lettering. Make sure it's old English lettering and difficult to read. I suppose they think this adds a air of legitimacy, however, I doubt anyone is going to confuse Lil' Wayne with Shakespeare. (Unless that person is stupid. Or crazy. Gotta love the crazy!)
2) Precious metals and stones. The tackier the better! Be sure to flash that bling (don't you love the slightly outdated slang?) But seriously, nearly every rap CD has gold chains and/or diamond teeth and/or diamond jewerly and/or crowns or some other piece of crap. (Note: should you forget to add tacky jewelry, make up for it with violent images: guns, knives, guns that shoot knives)
3) Man scowling/woman whoring. Be sure, if you are a man, to look pissed. Because you're serious and angry! This will give you the gravitas to pull off a masterpiece like "Candy Shop" or "Shake it Like a Salt Shaker" However, if you are a woman, in the world of gansta rap, you are good for one thing: sex. Be sure to sell that. Look at Lil' Kim, Foxy Brown, and Trina. They all know what they're doing. After all, 50 is not interested in your mind! (unless the "candy shop" is referring to intellectual stimulation... with Candy being critical analysis of Shelley or Keaths... I'm pretty sure it's not.) And for God's sakes, please remember to shake that laffy taffy. What else can you do?
So there you go. 3 simple steps to designing your gansta rap cover: gothic lettering, tacky jewerly, and scowling and/or whoring.
posted by jMoney at 9:01 PM
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